Socrates once said, “By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you will be happy. If you get a bad one, you will be a philosopher.” But what if I don’t want to be a philosopher leading an intellectual life? What if I want to spend the rest of my life being a first-year freshman exploring all my firsts. People say the company of a partner makes life better and beautiful, and I am not against the concept of social monogamy, which I think is an option you wish to have or have not in your life. Will you be left alone on the road when you can’t walk? We don’t do things for which we aren’t ready, then what difference does being married makes?
The problem is when the people in your surroundings, especially the elders, try to impose it on you. Will you start going to school when you haven’t started talking?
According to my, it’s a crucial phase in life which we have to live till eternity. But getting into it, establishing it, and building it needs time, space, and mindset. If you aren’t ready, then it’s ok not to attain it. However, we live in a society where it’s been considered some necessity as if it’s some oxygen without which we would die. It’s a usual process in life where we are born, learn to walk on our feet, opt for education, understand the outer world, fall in love with someone, get married, and have babies.
But what if we don’t find that appropriate partner? Does that mean our whole life would be devastated? I don’t think so. If we are self-sufficient and know how to live life independently, it shouldn’t be a problem for others. They often justify their opinions by saying we need partners for emotional support for companionship, but I think it’s good to be financially and emotionally independent.
Why a partner would have all the powers to keep me happy is why I can’t be satisfied. In the girls’ case, it’s more serious. After 25, family pressure starts surrounding them when they are busy making a healthy and bright future. When you hear the word ‘Future’ for young age people, especially girls, it’s like becoming financially independent, supporting her own family, doing something for herself like opening a start-up land whatnot.
Still, for the elders, it’s been getting an education, do a job, get married and start a family, and they try to impose that. You can’t always count marriage as happiness. Happiness defines us, our choices, and our lifestyle. Other than us, nobody has the right to determine our happiness. There’s always a right time to make up our mind to prepare for that big step; there’s nothing like the right age, proper proposal, right family. It’s always about that right moment when you would feel like spending the rest of the life with your partner, and if it doesn’t occur to you, it’s beautiful. You can’t skip steps while climbing the staircase; otherwise, you would fall; the decision of marriage is just like that.
Girls are often said, “After your parents, who would be there to look after you?” “You are aging. You should get married?” Why the. These so-called helpless humans will need someone to look after them as if their age and beauty are the main priorities to get married. First of all, we girls would like to consider life partners, not guardians. We would want someone to marry us, seeing through our soul, not getting judged by our age and face. In boys’ case, their families need a girl to look after their family and need an heir much more than a life-partner for their son. Forcefully imposed and compromised marriages always worsen with time resulting in divorces or having a dysfunctional family.
If you have a child, they will face the repercussions. It’s high time that getting people married in a society needs to be changed. It should be the full n final decision of the respective person, why, when and how they would like to get married, if they aren’t interested that’s entirely their choice. In my opinion, they shouldn’t pressurize them, as marriage is a choice, not a necessity!
-Sukanya Chanda