Just a few days before I watched a dialogue from a Korean TV series named “Record of the Youth” on
Netflix which hit me like a truck.
It said, and I quote, “I think it’s abusive, to tell someone who’s hurting to be strong.”
It felt weird yet not untrue to some extent. As per the survey conducted by the Suicide Prevention in India
Foundation (SPIF) it was found that nearly 40 per cent of the total 1685 participants suffered from common mental health disorders, such as anxiety and depression, due to pandemic.
The issue I am writing about isn’t related to mental health, but more focused on the surroundings, the societal response towards those who suffer.
It is from my personal experience that whenever a person whether it be male or female, talks about their mental problem a typical reaction of the general populace
(including friends, family and other close members) is not to offer comfort or solace. Instead, they are advised to be healthy.
‘Everything will be alright if you hold on.’
Close friends often speak a typical sentence.
Is this the proper behaviour that the person suffering expects from them?
He/she themself knows better than anyone that they need to be healthy, they need to hold on. But if
they keep hearing people close to them repeating it, it might feel more hurting. It might feel like
rubbing salt on their wounds. This type of support does more harm than goodwill.
What I believe is a person in distress, especially one that is mental needs only one type of person, and that is someone who would listen to them without giving their own opinion, without judging them.
A good listener is all they need because there are already tons of thoughts in their mind. Their mind is in chaos, a piece of mess which they are trying to solve bit by bit. By telling them to be healthy, you are
telling them to forfeit the right to feel pain, the right to feel hurt, the right to feel my emotions and more
importantly the right to know themself. Agreed that the society is harsh, the world is cruel, but in this
cruel world if I as a person am required to live like this then wouldn’t it be more hurting, wouldn’t it
make the world a more harsh place to live.
But this is just from my perspective. After all, others cannot solve my problems, they cannot free me from
my suffering, but still, they can genuinely listen to it. At least try to comfort me a bit, by saying nothing just by
simply telling me.
‘It’s okay.’
After all, I am only a Human.
Written by -Arya
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