Debunking the myth: Pseudo-feminism

Imagine a world where people were segregated based on seniority and not gender. Feminism aims to do just that. It is about letting people be.
Feminism doesn’t hate men. It just hates the idea that upholds them on a pedestal. And we as feminists intend to break that myth.

What is Feminism?

With social media being “the” source of news, these days. The cons have shined through much more than the pros have. Feminism, a movement or ideology that aims to ask for equal opportunities for all, irrespective of the sex they are born with and the gender they identify with. The “fem” of the term has been a source of constant criticism by critics citing the movement as an excuse to hate men. To break that myth, it’s important to first understand the concept of Sex and Gender.

Sex and Gender: They are different

What if I tell you that women and men are not the only parts of society. They say, ignorance is bliss and I vehemently disagree. Gender is not equal to sex. Sex is to nature what gender is to culture. Sex is what we are born with. Gender, what we are. Sex is biological, Gender, a set of socially construed norms. How long will we then, justify patriarchal societal norms through biological differences. When, in reality, it was all never too simple. The world does not cease being a man or a woman and it’s high time we accept that.

Cis heterosexual men, Cis heterosexual women, trans men and women. Sounds unfamiliar?! Well, this is reality. Women and Men are not the only parts of our society. Inclusivity is a thing and feminism, the solution.

Why Do we need feminism?

When it comes to feminism, 2 myths seem to hover around constantly. That feminism is about hating men and that it will somehow negatively disturb the status quo. The latter could be attributed to the fact that cishet men who have for the longest time been power holders, find it hard to accept that their fellow people will now share equal powers and rights. But why do we forget that feminism empowers not just women but also, men!!

“Why are you crying like a girl? Be a man.”, “Oh, you like wearing pink? Are you a girl?”, “If the wife’s going to work, who’s handling all the household chores??”, STEM courses is what you want to pursue? But what about them not being feminine, enough! Expressions like these reinforce stereotypes that were meant to be broken if not for the strong resistance towards feminism by conservationists.
These instances are proof enough of how patriarchy is a disease that has harmed everyone. Women, Men and the between.

We need feminism so that everyone is expected to learn housework because it’s a life skill. Everyone can cry, everyone can wear pink and makeup and everyone can ditch it. Everyone is known by their work and not as someone’s property. We need feminism so that everyone can be. Without any fear of judgement or cruelty. So that people can be treated as individuals and not limited to their sexes.

The Myth: “Pseudo-feminism”

They say feminism is about hating men. As ‘they’ like to put it, pseudo-feminism.

Not all men, being the point of contention. I would love to agree that not all men are evil. Not all men intent to harm. Not all men are misogynists, on the contrary, many of them are feminists but if you identify as a cis heterosexual man in this day and age. Then you, my friend are a product of privilege. I don’t hate men, I hate the privilege they hold. And it is that privilege that they are accountable for because this privilege ironically oppressed everyone. Cis men, women, trans men and women and every human who struggles to know what gender they are because society wouldn’t let them be. Not all men, I agree but Enough men. Enough men to make it impossible for us to go out alone at night. Enough men to make public transport uncomfortable for us. Enough men to make us feel unsafe every time we are just being. Enough men that make it impossible for us to be ourselves in our “homes”.

What can we do?

But…but it’s not your mistake that you are born in the body of a man. That you identify as a male. So what can you, sitting in the place of privilege that you do, do?

Sit back and listen. Listen to how has years of patriarchal oppression affected us. And yes, I know you suffer, too. Those people who don’t allow you to cry. To do things that you want to because of the same boxes that we as feminists intend to break. But understand, that even though, no problem is less. Some problems take more time to heal. When the trauma is physical and emotional and has been inflicted by those you think were yours. It takes time to heal and being the privileged ones, I believe it’s your responsibility to sit back and listen. Let those whose voices have been oppressed for centuries, SPEAK. For it took them years to do just that.

Dear cis heterosexual men, We don’t hate you. We hate the privilege, you so casually fail to accept. Feminism is about raising equal opportunities for all. You and me. Irrespective of sex and gender. They are different, mind you!

Published by Nimisha Bansal

a writer who writes to heal their soul. When they are not writing you can find them humming old Bollywood songs

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